


The Familiar Feeling of Being Alone

by SeaSparkle



Series: Keitor Week 2017 [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Keitor Week 2017, M/M, Mention of Lotor's generals, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12623788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaSparkle/pseuds/SeaSparkle
Summary: Being alone is something Lotor was all too use to. It didn't make it any less bitter, though.





	The Familiar Feeling of Being Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is really late compared to when I usually post these! Also, sorry if there are any mistakes. I had to write this on my phone because my computer was acting up.  
> Keitor Week day 6: Solitude

He had always been alone. It didn't matter if he was flying in space or standing in the gladiator ring. He was alone, with only himself to rely on.

He'd learned that at a young age. He was a half breed, half a race that saw him as a bratty weakling, and half a race his own father had driven to extinction. His own father, who had also exiled him at a young age.

He wasn't even important enough to kill and be done with it.

Alone, he learned to rely on only himself. Nobody was going to save him from harm. If he wanted to survive, and he did, he would have to insure it himself.

He learned to fight. He was small and skinny, he couldn't change that, but he could use it to his advantage. He was fast and nimble. He kept his head during a fight, thinking through every movement, every step, every sword swing....

If his fighting style ended up tailored around a spacific type of enemy, well... that was his business.

For so long, it was he, himself, and I. He never thought, in a million years, he would find himself with a... a group. Four other galra half-breeds. Zethrid, Ezor, Narti and Acxa. He proved himself to them, and they to him. They fought side by side. He didn't completely open up to them, but he wasn't completely on his own now either. He had people he could rely on. Zethrid was his warrior, Ezor was his spy, Acxa was his right hand and most loyal, and Narti...

Narti was his best friend. He'd have never admitted that to anyone, but she was. She was the only one who always knew what was going on in his head, probably because of the whole 'mind invasions' thing she had. She was the only one of his general who knew what all of his plans were, what he intended to do, yet she... she stayed. 

When he met Narti, she was alone, like him. She had two disabilities, she could neither see nor speak, yet they were afraid of her. The things she could do with her mind...

She was the first of his general he recruted. It was mostly due to his soft spot for her. She struck something in him he didn't even know he had. He'd taken her away from her planet, away from the people who shunned and despised her. He'd given her that cat. The one that had followed him into his exile, one he thought was perhaps not quite natural. Well, Narti seemed that way too, right? Maybe it was a sign. Sign or not, Narti and the cat fit together perfectly. The cat, 'Kova' she said his name was, became her eyes. And extension of her body. In those first few weeks, as she cradled the cat, using it to see the ship Lotor had owned at the time (which was, with all honesty, a piece of garbage, but he'd loved it), he suspected she might cry if she were able. In fact, in her own way, he suspected she was. She would send out mental waves, waves that felt like some kind of overwhelming emotion he couldn't name.

She would talk to him in his head. He was the only one who she would do that with. One day, she asked him something.

'I am susceptible to corruption of the mind. It is the disadvantage to my abilities. My mind is open to those with the ability to find a way in there' she told him 'I want you ro know this. It is my greatest fear. To be used like a puppet. I may control others, but I have my lines I will not cross. Lines we have discussed. But someone else...'

"Narti... where are you going with this?" He asked, lifting his head from her lap. He couldn't sleep at night, so she would help him. She would slip into his mind, gently pushing away all the bad thoughts, letting only good ones in, helping lull him to sleep with memories of lullabies and the feel of Narti's fingers in his hair.

'Lotor... you're the one I trust the most. If something happens, and my mind is no longer my own... I need you to stop it. Even if that means killing me'

He frowned, sitting up and pulling her into his arms, "It won't come to that Narti!"

'Promise me...' she begged him.

"... I promise."

Before he could say anything else. Before they could discuss the matter or he could take it back, she placed her hand on the back of his head. She made him fall alseep. It was the only time she ever done so in such a way.

He never thought he'd have to actually to it. But with everything falling down around them, and it being clear that that witch had invaded Narti's mind, he needed to make a choice, and he needed to do it fast. Angry at that witch, angry at Narti for that promise, angry at his father for being the reason all of this was happening... he ran at her, sword drawn. 

She acknowledge him. Stood there and... waited. She had all the time in the world to dodge, to move, to block... but she didn't. She stood there and took the hit.

He didn't expect the other's to understand, but he didn't think they would react the way they did. He didn't think they would intend on turning him over to his father to try and save themselves. He didn't blame them really. He was a failure. He brought Narti with him, exposed her to that witch. It was his fault she got corrupted. They might have stayed with him if the rift had worked. But it didn't. He didn't have enough time to get it operational, it wasn't finished. Still, he'd tried it anyway. He figured the universe owed him this one, right? Just this one thing.

It didn't work. He had no more quintessence, and now he no longer had his generals. 

The feeling of complete and utter solitude was even more bitter this time around.

Of course, it was interrupted by his father, come to kill him. The whole stunt with the sun was a gamble. He had no idea if he'd even be able to survive it. A small, tiny part of him, one he shoved deep down, kinda wishes he didn't.

There were worse things then death. Every day seemed to be proving that to him.

He survived though. Survived and, by some strange luck, paused to listen to the radio chatter. He wasn't even totally sure why he went. Maybe it was the thought of having somewhere to hide from his father, or maybe it was the thought of all those people dying... think of him what you will, but he would never blow up whole planets just to get rid of his enemies.

By some strange luck or much needed miracle, he arrived in time. He arrived in time to blow a hole in the witch's ship and stop her from detonating the planet.

It earned him a bed to sleep in, anyway. He was thankful for that. He might be alone in the universe again, but at least he was safe from his father.

He never wanted to get close to the paladins. Not after Acxa, his most loyal, was the one to shoot him. Not after what he did to Narti.

But his solitude was invaded yet again. First by Keith. A half breed with so much passion and determination. His eyes deed pools Lotor found himself drowning in every time he gazed into them.

Then, slowly, the others followed. Allura, Hunk, Coran, Pidge, Shiro, even Lance who trusted him the least. Once again, he was no longer alone.

But he'd messed it all up again.

He'd gone and done what he told himself he wasn't going to do. He opened his heart up. He'd acted without thinking and now he had to pay the consequences of his actions.

He'd kissed Keith.

They had just gotten out of a hard battle. It was... beyond brutal. The other's couldn't form Voltron, Lance had to be rushed to a healing pod and they, himself and Keith, had almost been taken out. If Hunk, bless that wonderful man, hadn't taken out that canon when he did... he and Keith wouldn't have stumbled out of Lotor's ship.

Lotor couldn't help it. He tosses off his helmet and rushed at the other. Keith had only just gotten his helmet off when Lotor had smashed their lips together.

The kiss was far from perfect. Their teeth clanked and their noses bumped awkwardly, but it was everything Lotor had ever wanted. Keith was everything Lotor had ever wanted. He had planned on confessing in a much more dignified and romantic way then this, but he supposed the would have to do.

Except... except Keith pushed him away. His face scared and confused. Before Lotor could regain his composure and explain himself, Keith fled. He ran from the hanger, leaving Lotor standing there alone.

Alone. It was a feeling he knew all too well. Heartbreak seemed to befriend him somewhere along the way as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this one is actually the longest one so far! Hehe. I hope you liked it!
> 
> ~Sparkle


End file.
